How to read body language

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Although we may not realize it, we actually spend a large portion of our life trying to decode other people’s non-verbal communication cues. These non-verbal cues come strictly from body language and make up almost 60 percent of how we choose to communicate with other people. For instance, the misconception is that your emotions are only given away from the expression on your face. This is not true. Rather, your entire body participates in showing or hiding how you are feeling and what your mental state is. It can be extremely hard to decipher, understand, or even control these unconscious cues.
The first step is to understand that body language and non-verbal behaviors are complicated because how people present themselves and how they are seen by others varies from person to person, and from one culture to another. With that in mind, let’s look at the three methods for understanding the body language.




Method One: Focusing in on Attraction Cues

When you are looking to see if an individual is attracted to you, there are a few steps that you can take.

1. Look at how they are choosing to make eye contact with you. If it is a steady stream of eye contact or if there is a lot of blinking involved, this can be a sign of attraction. If someone is predominantly looking away from you, or are getting easily distracted by others, they may not be as attracted to you as you hoped. Keep in mind though, things like flirtatious winks or the batting of eyelashes can be culturally specific so may not always be a good indication to go on.

2. Take a look at the facial expressions. The easiest one to understand and see is smiling or the raising of eyebrows. Keep in mind though, a genuine smile will reach a person’s eyes, resulting in wrinkles appearing around the eyes. If this does not happen with whom you are talking to, it may be a forced smile.

3. Take a look at the posture, stand, and gesture of the individual. If they generally stand close to you, keep their feet pointed at you or lean in towards you, all of these are signs of attraction. If someone lightly touches you or turns their palms up at you, it means that they are romantically interested.

4. Keep in mind that the different genders will use different non-verbal cues for attraction.



Method Two: Understanding Relational Cues

For relationship cues, take a look at the following

1. The distancing or touch will be apparent. Someone who is physically close and lightly touches you is showing affection or love. Those who are in a relationship will need less space between one another.

2. Evaluate how eye contact is being made. Someone who finds the person interesting or is attracted to them will maintain eye contact the majority of the time. The focus will primarily be on the eyes, but may move down the face, and then back up towards the eyes.

3. Finally, look at the posture of the person. If their limbs are open, hanging down, or are resting behind the neck, it generally means that they are open to the conversation. If the limbs are crossed, it often means resistance and a closed off person both physically, mentally, and emotionally.




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